This post is inspired by a devotional I read today in my Devotions For My Single Mom Life that my granny gave to me recently. The devotional spoke about Living on Purpose and pursuing our purposes. As I was reading, I thought about how I was fed (as a young single mother but even before that) that I have to put away the things that I enjoy; I have to get serious and pursue a practical career. Being a parent, it seems as if you have to lose your identity when in fact, you should be working to maintain it.

Before I was pregnant with my child, I was already in an internal struggle of “finding” myself and making decisions for myself (not doing what my parents want).

I allowed myself to be driven into the practical life after my son was born. I pursued jobs I knew I wouldn’t/didn’t enjoy…shoot, that I hated to be perfectly honest. Job after job after job, trying to pursue a bigger paycheck each time if I knew I wasn’t going to like the job. I figured as a mom there was no room for my needs/wants so I might as well try to make as much money as possible. I wish I could tell you I was that person who was making $100k a year at a job that I hated and was able to save up a bunch of money to quit my job and pursue my passions. Nope, that will not be my story.

It was dead-end job after dead-end job, even after I got my degree. Let me preface this by saying, I am grateful for everything I have but there is nothing wrong with wanting to pursue a career that you choose for yourself, that you could enjoy or at least don’t hate.

Yes, as a single mother, I have another mouth to feed but it has been a long 9 years that I have spent being unhappy as far as my career. I’ve read articles and posts on Reddit that say just find some great hobbies outside of your job or suck it up. Way easier said than done, when I am drained from a job I hate, I can’t get myself to do anything. Especially when I haven’t even been able to take the time to figure out what I like outside of work. I don’t want to try a new hobby and hate it then I’ve wasted time and now it’s time to go to bed then back to work.

If you’ve never been there then you may not understand. A horrible job is life-sucking, happiness-draining and it spirals into negative, intrusive thoughts of how you even ended up at this place in your life. Oh yeah, it gets deep.

I’m here to tell you, you can have an identity separate from being a mother. I definitely wish I would have fully realized and acted on this 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4 years ago but we are here. I think it is underestimated how hard it is to shake a mindset that has been drilled into you for so long. How easy it is to take on that mindset when you haven’t had the chance to be and understand yourself. I mean my parents always wanted me to pursue something practical even before my kid so they just pushed even hard after my kid was born. There was no space for me to learn about myself and grow.

But here is my time! I’m going to use it! I’ll be 30 this year and I refuseeeeeeee to go into my 30s and use it up being unhappy.

Affirmation: I’m going to pursue a career I want and I am going to discover hobbies I love!

You deserve no less than the best for your life. You deserve to experience a vibrant life, in perfect harmony with the abilities and passions God has given you. So don’t let your life be a series of random events. Live it on purpose; live it with passion.

Devotions For My Single Mom Life by Rebecca List-Bergeron

Stay well *